Lost in the long corn rows

I have no sense of direction. None. Zippo. Zilch. Most of the time, this handicap is no big deal, but at times my lack has caused me major difficulties.

Detasselers work in whatever conditions Mother Nature dishes out, except lightning storms. Standing in a cornfield during lightning makes a person into a target.

Toward the end of one brutally hot and humid day, a thunderstorm brewed up. Boss decided that we’d best quit for the day. Crew leader told me to “dig out” those who weren’t finished with their rows and tell them that we were leaving. I did this, then walked toward the bus.

Except that I ended up on another side of the cornfield. Helplessly, I watched the bus pull away without me. Eventually, they realized that I had been left. They drove around looking for me, but I could never catch up to the bus.

We were about 15 miles from home and cell phones were not available yet. I walked at least a mile to the nearest farmhouse and called my mother.

Mother had a compass in her head. She could not understand how I could have gotten turned around in a cornfield.

But her confusion was nothing to the scorn I received from my crew mates. They all gave me dirty looks the next day. “How could you get lost in a cornfield?” they asked. And they kept on scornfully asking that question throughout whatever remained of the season.

Even years later, I still heard those taunts. Yes, this was definitely my most embarrassing moment.